Now shoo.

Fabulous Fourteen
105'10, 205'11 - We be da best. Donut deny it.

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Hello.

I am feeling so down today. Thanks to the History paper. I was praying so hard I won't do badly in any papers, but I guess I have to accept what's happened to me. I studied so hard but still... I suck at History. You can go fuck yourself, History. I don't even understand your damn existence. And you, I know you've got a lot more higher marks, but I don't see why the need to brag/boast about it in front of the others? I know you studied mugged 24/7 every week and you obviously didn't need to show off how much you study. We geddit. Don't you understand? We don't want to know how much you studied for something. I bet you're so happy I cried in the hall just now just because of my marks.  Are you satisfied now? Are you happy I failed?

If you are, fuck you.

And we also got our Math paper back. Wasn't that bad, but could have done better because of the careless mistakes I made. But alhamdulillah, I didn't fail. But in the hall just now during History, I don't even know why I cried. I think it was the statement ____________ made. It's just so discouraging. Then I broke down. So badly. I felt like punching her in the face then, but everything around me just blacked out and all I see was myself crying my heart out in front of a crowd of friends. That was when I thought I told myself that I didn't give a fuck about grades anymore? And that I didn't care anymore? I still have 3 more years, and there's plenty of time to improve myself. But isn't Year 1 all about building a strong foundation? FML I'm gonna struggle in the next three years. Now I don't know what to do.

I hope I'm strong enough to bear all of these.
So badly.


P.s. Sorry for the full-of-vulgar post. Sometimes I hate myself for not being strong. back to top?